Should we simplify the rules of English spelling?

Let me first ask a question to everyone out there. For how long have we been reading magazines, novels, or at least newspapers? I agree most of you don’t like to read magazines and novels but what about newspapers? Don’t we read them daily? The reason why I asked this question is mainly because the so-called Internet English is making its mark big time. U, ur, de, dis, et al is the lingo of the internet users these days and  inevitably a common sight. I’m sick and tired of wading my mind through these kinda texts and apparently to me it looks like they were actually written by dyslexic valley girls. *barf*

Okay, now forget about the spelling thing, I’m not a good speller myself but I make it a point to use the dictionary mode on my mobile phone or while on the internet I use Firefox web-browser which has an in-built spell checker. So whenever I go wrong, I’m informed. If that looks ugly while typing a text, what about the innumerable dots a person uses while typing a text? I always wonder if they are in any way luring Pac-man into some trap I don’t know about. And that’s kinda irritating when the user uses it umpteen times. The moment I see that, I feel like puking on it.

And the next thing which frustrates me while reading a text on the internet is when people elongate a word, like for example hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Screw them first for elongating that two-letter word. Eww, are they  trying to ascertain the elasticity of that particular word? It’s after all only a two-letter word . *sigh*

Caught off guard?!

All right, you must have heard of snakes in the wild forest or scurrying on the roads. That’s a common sight I agree. But I bet you must not have heard of snakes in toilets or in shoes. Sounds interesting eh? Well, last week as usual, as I was surfing the internet searching for pictures of Jane McGrath, wife of Australian fast bowler Glen McGrath, something struck my eyes. While that search was underway, I came across an interesting news column with the picture of a mighty Python, which allegedly emerged from the 10th floor. Imagine a person getting inside the toilet, bolting the door and then to his surprise finds a coiled Python there? The reports say the Python could have only come from the depths of the toilet. If that’s scaring enough, what about the one I’m going to mention next? Imagine this hypothetical situation. You have the shoe brush in one hand and with the other you pick it up for brushing it. And to your very surprise, you notice a Krait, (which is 16 times more potent than the Cobra’s venom) peeping out from it. Ah even more scaring , isn’t it? Well, what will you do at that moment? You can’t even think of such a situation, can you? Hmmm…

*sigh*

It’s been yet another uneventful week again. Kerala presently is enjoying a pleasant climate throughout this month with incessant rain (but an unpleasant one for some though). I feel it’s just the best place to be on this planet Earth. Chennai on the other hand was getting hotter and hotter as the days passed before the rain Gods showed some mercy even here. It was completely hot and sultry. In fact, these two states are the neighboring states, yet, contrasting climate. It’s now the mid-June with the mercury level dipping drastically characterized by the unprecedented rain. It feels a lot better. Lying on the cosy couch, I wish I had more sleeping hours dreaming about a lot of things but one reason leading to another denied me from enjoying a deep slumber. Ah, why should I fret over these petty things? I don’t give a damn.

Okay, with the IPL thing getting over I was quite sure the following weeks will be monotonous. So I went to the lending library and thought of getting a book. When I got there I wondered for quite some time deciding on which author I had to choose. Mario Puzo’s books struck my eyes. So I went for one of his works, not a famous one though. It was “Fools Die”. One look at the blurb, I thought that would be a good one. The first half was interesting but the second half wasn’t that good. Praises for that book highlighted only Mario Puzo could have written that. It was about gambling and I noticed the word ‘bullshit’ used innumerable times. Okay, no matter what words were used, that’s how they write the book. Finally, it left a bad taste in my mouth.

Reading is my passion!

From novels and novelettes to books and magazines, I read everything that crosses my eyes. I never thought I would fall in love with books even in my dreams. I still don’t know how I developed this habit of reading. In fact, I never knew where a lending library was located in my locality. It all started one day, one fine day, when my eyes struck the words “Little Lending Library” on a banner which was hung in front of the book store. It was all during my holidays right after the 12 grade board exams. I was wondering what I would do for a span of 3 months. Only then this idea struck my mind, why not spend time reading books. As a matter of fact, it’s the best way to spend your holidays. Before books, spare time was just like passing through a bottomless chasm of boredom and for me severe tedium can do a lot of funny things. As far as I’m concerned, Ayn Rand’s books are super good. Her “Fountain Head” was the best among the lot. Now after skimming through the pages of these novels, I just feel I can’t be without these books. Now with a book in my hand, I’m quite enjoying myself.

Bat or bawl, IPL is the best of all

I never intended to write Cricket columns in this space but because of the craze and the insanity that IPL left in the minds of people, I feel irresistible. The 44 day extravaganza which included 56 sensational matches was an electrifying till the end. The best thing about IPL, the Cricketing fraternity has ever seen is the sight of Indian youngsters sharing the dressing room with the stalwarts of the game. That’s a rare sight and before this IPL idea clicked one would have never thought of that even in their dreams.

Gone are the days when one wondered ODI Cricket is the best form of Cricket. But now, with T-20 and IPL ruling the roost, Test Cricket is losing its charm and I’m afraid in the near future, it would be unheeded. If we think, One Day International Cricket was time consuming and draggy, then Test Cricket is relatively worse where one has to wait for 5 days to know the result. I’m sure this IPL will surely be a success in the near future leaving behind Test Cricket and ODIs back.

Severe tedium can do a lot of funny things to you. Without Cricket, I just feel like passing through a bottomless chasm of boredom. Life after IPL has been quite uneventful. I switch on the TV as if it’s time for the match to start. Only then, it dawns on me that there’s no Cricket today and that I’ve to wait for another friggin’ year for the next season to commence. I miss all the entertainment. I even miss the skimpily clad Cheerleaders. They were just awesome on the field. Long live IPL. Long live.

Hmmm…

I reckon I’ve prolonged deciding on what I’ve to post next. I haven’t blogged. Quite clearly, I haven’t blogged for a long time and this gives me an unusual sick feeling that I haven’t blogged for years together. Yeah, literally and otherwise. I didn’t want to write. I didn’t want to update. And I didn’t want to take another look at this blog again. (This update was an afterthought, though.) I totally abominated the idea of updating my blog whining and cribbing about the mundane thoughts of the pathetic days I faced. The fact that my blog languished, only made things worse. There are some reasons, if not, some lame excuses which keep bothering me more often than not and that’s why I haven’t posted something here. Don’t ask me what!

On to the post now. On the 23th March ‘08, we, the final year students celebrated our farewell. Geez! Farewell?! Now that’s something many of us would have experienced only a couple or more times. And now speaking of farewell, I instantly cast my mind back to the day when I first experienced this leave-taking. But before I could start rambling about what happened that day, firstly I’d like to relate another incident on the same note.

Hastily, I got up from the bed one fine morning when someone shrieked into my ears Wake up! Wake up! It’s getting late for the farewell! As I was in more of a hurry, and even without having a rough idea as to where the rendezvous was arranged, I kicked off the day in a haste manner. And on the way I had to pick one of my friends, who at that point of time, was calm as a kid in a dreamless slumber. 10 0′ clock farewell and what on earth was he doing?! Kicked him on his back as hard as possible and with the pain on his face promised me that he’d return it back. What were we going to do reaching the place so early? Even after quite convincing me, I took him along with me and pretended as if I heard nothing. When we got there, not even a single soul had turned up. I could see the ire on his face. We were on time and waited almost for an hour there until everyone reached. After waiting for such a long time, I just thought “To hell with punctuality?”

Being the first experience to celebrate this occasion in School or elsewhere, the crowd gathered there was surprisingly great as a great deal of students showed up. Guess what? Not a single day in school have I seen all my classmates under one roof. Quite astonishing, I say. We were then ushered into a room, imagine a vast banquet hall colourfully lit with all that ostentatious showy chandeliers hung from the bottom of the roof. And not to forget a posh smorgasbord to the nook of the hall; a sumptuous meal was arranged. Meanwhile, the flashes and clicks of the cameras continued and it seemed interminable as the folks found it fun to be photoed together.

Everything went on considerably well and eventually after all the loquaciousness, it was time to face the music. Every soul, had to come to the stage and perform or compose something, especially a mimic, play, song, dance, or piece of music, without any preparation. I was in the soup when I found that I was the first one to be called out and I was asked to come to the stage. As I took a piece of paper from the lot, it gave me the creeps and my off-hand task was to sing the National Anthem. All of a sudden, I was in focus and without any delay I started “Jana gana…” Went quite nicely in the beginning but my voice came to an abrupt end when I almost forgot the lines that followed. I gagged and when I found myself in an awkward position, I started mumbling. At a moment’s notice, I could hear contemptuous laughter all around and my face almost wrinkled with their laugh of derision. What was even worse was the fact that the folks who thought that the National Anthem and National Song are one and the same, also started laughing. Now really, what was the fuss all about?

Just a couple of months back, a classmate of mine went through the same phase when our college symposium was conducted, I could see the embarrassment on her face. It was inauspicious when I found that she was yet another soul in the world who forget the lines of our National Anthem. But tell you what, it’s completely frustrating when you’re at the receiving end. One can’t even conceive of such a hapless situation happening in front of a huge crowd, especially when the dignitaries are seated in front of you. Ah! It happens! It just happens! Alas, it was an exasperating day! Now back to the 23rd March ‘08, I was in a complete dilemma whether or not to attend the farewell but in the 11th hour, I decided, I have to go.

This time while sitting inside the hall waiting anxiously for my name to be read out, visions of sights that would say ‘Will it be like the other farewell?’ danced before my eyes, but that just didn’t translate into reality. And as another farewell went by, the question looms large. Am I feeling nostalgic? No, that feeling hasn’t sunk in, yet.

P.S. If one might wonder if all these incidents would have taken place to the same person, I dare say no. An erstwhile compadre of mine who visited my place a couple of months back narrated this incident to me. I’ve just typed whatever he’s uttered and here it is, verbatim.