Should we simplify the rules of English spelling?

Let me first ask a question to everyone out there. For how long have we been reading magazines, novels, or at least newspapers? I agree most of you don’t like to read magazines and novels but what about newspapers? Don’t we read them daily? The reason why I asked this question is mainly because the so-called Internet English is making its mark big time. U, ur, de, dis, et al is the lingo of the internet users these days and  inevitably a common sight. I’m sick and tired of wading my mind through these kinda texts and apparently to me it looks like they were actually written by dyslexic valley girls. *barf*

Okay, now forget about the spelling thing, I’m not a good speller myself but I make it a point to use the dictionary mode on my mobile phone or while on the internet I use Firefox web-browser which has an in-built spell checker. So whenever I go wrong, I’m informed. If that looks ugly while typing a text, what about the innumerable dots a person uses while typing a text? I always wonder if they are in any way luring Pac-man into some trap I don’t know about. And that’s kinda irritating when the user uses it umpteen times. The moment I see that, I feel like puking on it.

And the next thing which frustrates me while reading a text on the internet is when people elongate a word, like for example hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Screw them first for elongating that two-letter word. Eww, are they  trying to ascertain the elasticity of that particular word? It’s after all only a two-letter word . *sigh*

Caught off guard?!

All right, you must have heard of snakes in the wild forest or scurrying on the roads. That’s a common sight I agree. But I bet you must not have heard of snakes in toilets or in shoes. Sounds interesting eh? Well, last week as usual, as I was surfing the internet searching for pictures of Jane McGrath, wife of Australian fast bowler Glen McGrath, something struck my eyes. While that search was underway, I came across an interesting news column with the picture of a mighty Python, which allegedly emerged from the 10th floor. Imagine a person getting inside the toilet, bolting the door and then to his surprise finds a coiled Python there? The reports say the Python could have only come from the depths of the toilet. If that’s scaring enough, what about the one I’m going to mention next? Imagine this hypothetical situation. You have the shoe brush in one hand and with the other you pick it up for brushing it. And to your very surprise, you notice a Krait, (which is 16 times more potent than the Cobra’s venom) peeping out from it. Ah even more scaring , isn’t it? Well, what will you do at that moment? You can’t even think of such a situation, can you? Hmmm…

*sigh*

It’s been yet another uneventful week again. Kerala presently is enjoying a pleasant climate throughout this month with incessant rain (but an unpleasant one for some though). I feel it’s just the best place to be on this planet Earth. Chennai on the other hand was getting hotter and hotter as the days passed before the rain Gods showed some mercy even here. It was completely hot and sultry. In fact, these two states are the neighboring states, yet, contrasting climate. It’s now the mid-June with the mercury level dipping drastically characterized by the unprecedented rain. It feels a lot better. Lying on the cosy couch, I wish I had more sleeping hours dreaming about a lot of things but one reason leading to another denied me from enjoying a deep slumber. Ah, why should I fret over these petty things? I don’t give a damn.

Okay, with the IPL thing getting over I was quite sure the following weeks will be monotonous. So I went to the lending library and thought of getting a book. When I got there I wondered for quite some time deciding on which author I had to choose. Mario Puzo’s books struck my eyes. So I went for one of his works, not a famous one though. It was “Fools Die”. One look at the blurb, I thought that would be a good one. The first half was interesting but the second half wasn’t that good. Praises for that book highlighted only Mario Puzo could have written that. It was about gambling and I noticed the word ‘bullshit’ used innumerable times. Okay, no matter what words were used, that’s how they write the book. Finally, it left a bad taste in my mouth.

Reading is my passion!

From novels and novelettes to books and magazines, I read everything that crosses my eyes. I never thought I would fall in love with books even in my dreams. I still don’t know how I developed this habit of reading. In fact, I never knew where a lending library was located in my locality. It all started one day, one fine day, when my eyes struck the words “Little Lending Library” on a banner which was hung in front of the book store. It was all during my holidays right after the 12 grade board exams. I was wondering what I would do for a span of 3 months. Only then this idea struck my mind, why not spend time reading books. As a matter of fact, it’s the best way to spend your holidays. Before books, spare time was just like passing through a bottomless chasm of boredom and for me severe tedium can do a lot of funny things. As far as I’m concerned, Ayn Rand’s books are super good. Her “Fountain Head” was the best among the lot. Now after skimming through the pages of these novels, I just feel I can’t be without these books. Now with a book in my hand, I’m quite enjoying myself.

Bat or bawl, IPL is the best of all

I never intended to write Cricket columns in this space but because of the craze and the insanity that IPL left in the minds of people, I feel irresistible. The 44 day extravaganza which included 56 sensational matches was an electrifying till the end. The best thing about IPL, the Cricketing fraternity has ever seen is the sight of Indian youngsters sharing the dressing room with the stalwarts of the game. That’s a rare sight and before this IPL idea clicked one would have never thought of that even in their dreams.

Gone are the days when one wondered ODI Cricket is the best form of Cricket. But now, with T-20 and IPL ruling the roost, Test Cricket is losing its charm and I’m afraid in the near future, it would be unheeded. If we think, One Day International Cricket was time consuming and draggy, then Test Cricket is relatively worse where one has to wait for 5 days to know the result. I’m sure this IPL will surely be a success in the near future leaving behind Test Cricket and ODIs back.

Severe tedium can do a lot of funny things to you. Without Cricket, I just feel like passing through a bottomless chasm of boredom. Life after IPL has been quite uneventful. I switch on the TV as if it’s time for the match to start. Only then, it dawns on me that there’s no Cricket today and that I’ve to wait for another friggin’ year for the next season to commence. I miss all the entertainment. I even miss the skimpily clad Cheerleaders. They were just awesome on the field. Long live IPL. Long live.

Hmmm…

I reckon I’ve prolonged deciding on what I’ve to post next. I haven’t blogged. Quite clearly, I haven’t blogged for a long time and this gives me an unusual sick feeling that I haven’t blogged for years together. Yeah, literally and otherwise. I didn’t want to write. I didn’t want to update. And I didn’t want to take another look at this blog again. (This update was an afterthought, though.) I totally abominated the idea of updating my blog whining and cribbing about the mundane thoughts of the pathetic days I faced. The fact that my blog languished, only made things worse. There are some reasons, if not, some lame excuses which keep bothering me more often than not and that’s why I haven’t posted something here. Don’t ask me what!

On to the post now. On the 23th March ’08, we, the final year students celebrated our farewell. Geez! Farewell?! Now that’s something many of us would have experienced only a couple or more times. And now speaking of farewell, I instantly cast my mind back to the day when I first experienced this leave-taking. But before I could start rambling about what happened that day, firstly I’d like to relate another incident on the same note.

Hastily, I got up from the bed one fine morning when someone shrieked into my ears Wake up! Wake up! It’s getting late for the farewell! As I was in more of a hurry, and even without having a rough idea as to where the rendezvous was arranged, I kicked off the day in a haste manner. And on the way I had to pick one of my friends, who at that point of time, was calm as a kid in a dreamless slumber. 10 0′ clock farewell and what on earth was he doing?! Kicked him on his back as hard as possible and with the pain on his face promised me that he’d return it back. What were we going to do reaching the place so early? Even after quite convincing me, I took him along with me and pretended as if I heard nothing. When we got there, not even a single soul had turned up. I could see the ire on his face. We were on time and waited almost for an hour there until everyone reached. After waiting for such a long time, I just thought “To hell with punctuality?”

Being the first experience to celebrate this occasion in School or elsewhere, the crowd gathered there was surprisingly great as a great deal of students showed up. Guess what? Not a single day in school have I seen all my classmates under one roof. Quite astonishing, I say. We were then ushered into a room, imagine a vast banquet hall colourfully lit with all that ostentatious showy chandeliers hung from the bottom of the roof. And not to forget a posh smorgasbord to the nook of the hall; a sumptuous meal was arranged. Meanwhile, the flashes and clicks of the cameras continued and it seemed interminable as the folks found it fun to be photoed together.

Everything went on considerably well and eventually after all the loquaciousness, it was time to face the music. Every soul, had to come to the stage and perform or compose something, especially a mimic, play, song, dance, or piece of music, without any preparation. I was in the soup when I found that I was the first one to be called out and I was asked to come to the stage. As I took a piece of paper from the lot, it gave me the creeps and my off-hand task was to sing the National Anthem. All of a sudden, I was in focus and without any delay I started “Jana gana…” Went quite nicely in the beginning but my voice came to an abrupt end when I almost forgot the lines that followed. I gagged and when I found myself in an awkward position, I started mumbling. At a moment’s notice, I could hear contemptuous laughter all around and my face almost wrinkled with their laugh of derision. What was even worse was the fact that the folks who thought that the National Anthem and National Song are one and the same, also started laughing. Now really, what was the fuss all about?

Just a couple of months back, a classmate of mine went through the same phase when our college symposium was conducted, I could see the embarrassment on her face. It was inauspicious when I found that she was yet another soul in the world who forget the lines of our National Anthem. But tell you what, it’s completely frustrating when you’re at the receiving end. One can’t even conceive of such a hapless situation happening in front of a huge crowd, especially when the dignitaries are seated in front of you. Ah! It happens! It just happens! Alas, it was an exasperating day! Now back to the 23rd March ’08, I was in a complete dilemma whether or not to attend the farewell but in the 11th hour, I decided, I have to go.

This time while sitting inside the hall waiting anxiously for my name to be read out, visions of sights that would say ‘Will it be like the other farewell?’ danced before my eyes, but that just didn’t translate into reality. And as another farewell went by, the question looms large. Am I feeling nostalgic? No, that feeling hasn’t sunk in, yet.

P.S. If one might wonder if all these incidents would have taken place to the same person, I dare say no. An erstwhile compadre of mine who visited my place a couple of months back narrated this incident to me. I’ve just typed whatever he’s uttered and here it is, verbatim.

First anniversary approaching

I remember the days when we all whiled away the time after school hours. I remember the days when we all did activities that were quite enjoyable and amusing. And I still remember the days when we all sported new looks and with our pleasant countenances, posed for group photos in school. We enjoyed a very good time when he was around us. We shared good times with each other but when I recall those days again, it really hurts. I find it really difficult to digest the fact that he’s not still with us. Last year, this time he was with us. He was ding his 3rd year in Engineering. As exams were approaching, exam fever started gripping in. He did the first exam quite well. He came back in the afternoon. In the evening he had a chat with one of his close friend. Before going to bed, he felt no good. He was down with some kind of nervous break down. It’s on the 29th of May. It’s a day that I can never forget in my life. May his soul Rest in Peace. Buddy, I miss you a lot. I wish you were somewhere around us now.

Not my cup of tea

Music! Music! Music! Boy, I’m stark, raving mad!

If you had asked me what I was going to do for a living, a decade back or thereabout, I would have unwittingly said ‘I want to be a playback singer’ but if the same question is triggered again right away, I’m afraid that’s possible. Since my childhood days, I was fortunate to have been exposed to a variety of songs and umpteen vocalists and singers. I’ve also listened to a lot of artistic works and now I realize that I’ve certainly developed a crave for music. Yes, I have. And know something? On my system, music alone occupies 3/8th(you do the math) of my hard-disk space. That says it all, don’t they?

If you had snooped around my Orkut profile, you would have ascertained that for the column ‘What are the five things you can’t live without?’, I would have responded Music, music, music, music, music, and music. That sounds bloody ridiculous! Yes, I’ve mentioned six things. (I would cease to breathe without music ‘or’ Without music, life would be a mistake, wouldn’t it?) *Chuckles* Hahaha! I certainly feel that weird things are funny, blame my warped sense of humor for that. Regarding my response, now just don’t jump to bloody conclusions thinking I’m a dyslexic or allege that I have problems related to word-blindness. Damn! No!

If my memory serves me correctly, when I was about 3 years old, at the crack of dawn I used to get up and listen to a Hindi song, a peppy number perhaps. That particular song drives me to the edge, I’ve heard it umpteen times on a tape recorder, where the magnetic tape including the tape recorder lasted a very short time because it was endlessly plugged, and finally it let out a savage, barking rhythm which could not exactly be called ‘music’. It was terrifying and it was out of tune and that after being reported as ‘distorted’ the cassette abruptly found its way to the trash bin. It was not music to my ears and my parents started rebuking me. Phew! Poor thing!

Meanwhile, I have this ugly habit of watching reality shows on television. Now blame my parents for that. Idea Star Singer(ISS) is one such show that’s telecasted on Asianet, 5 days in a week. I also have this habit of sitting glued to the television when this programme is aired. It was a fine evening. I was not on speaking terms with anyone and I was in a spot of bother when my father tried to strike up a conversation with me. A conversation that did not and would not happen.

Excerpts from the conversation:

Dad: If you had learned music, even you could have performed there.
Me: Dad, I can’t imagine myself encircled completely by a group of girls, to learn that art.
Dad: Elaborate! Don’t give me lame excuses. What’s your point now?
Me: My point is that, after the programme(singing course), I will not end up mastering the art of singing, I will end up being an ogler or a member of Professional Oglers Of Female Figures(if there is one), instead. POOFF! POOFF! Got it?
Dad: Nonsense! *Blushes*

I agree, that’s all nonsense. I had to give this lame excuse just to save my skin. Yes, when I was 10 years old, at the drop of a hat my parents enrolled me in a singing class. At the beginning, I was reluctant to join but attending the class, thinking of it as a spare-time activity, I decided to give it a go. I found myself among two dozens of pretty girls along with only a handful of guys. Surreptitiously, the strength started to decrease; the boys absconded and I was the only soul to represent my gender. Oh boy, I’m an introvert and how do you expect me to sit in the middle of all this?

Sooner or later, I decided to call it quits. I even had plans to elope with a pretty chick. Oh excuse me, that was for kicks! Now having a craving for music, why shouldn’t I listen to music on my system? I always have someone screaming *’basta la musica!’(Stop the music) That’s more of a dissonance. Err., dissonance? Say what? Now if I take trouble to type in the word ‘music’ and search for the definition in dictionary.com, there are no possibilities that I get in which it matches dissonance. I’m also really fascinated at the number of ‘definitions’ music has. Boy, I’m spell bind. I daresay, music is not dissonance! Boohoo!

Current Favorite Song: Unknown track from Unknown album by unknown artist.

IMPORTANT: If you feel despondent after reading this post and if you want to rejuvenate and perform a terpsichore, listen to all the songs that are numbered here.

Cheers!
Ta!

B.E. positive!

My college life is almost coming to an end. I just have a semester ahead to complete my degree.

1. On speaking terms:

I’m an insomniac, an introvert to the core and I have an obnoxious behavior. If you had snooped around and paid attention to the description of the ‘About me’ column a few weeks back on my orkut profile, the word ‘obnoxious’ would have silently and innocuously appeared alongside other descriptions. Yeah, I’m obnoxious. I’m very much annoying, offensive and unpleasant. I’ve not received a schmooze award yet. I did not make friends anywhere, certainly not because they were aliens/strangers/foreigners. I fail to strike up a conversation, fail to carry that intimacy along. Castrate me. Kill me for that.

2. Of symposiums and culturals:

This is another thing that I can agglomerate with the previous one. I seldom participate in these kind of extra-curricular activities. I stay away from them. Reason? I don’t know. I don’t know how to elaborate on this.

3. Quizzes, mid-terms, and academics:

Boy, I’m stark raving mad. Don’t ever remind me of this again. Gone are the days when I used to spend a great deal of time reading and gone are the days when I used to get top grades. Now my grades are below average. My problem is that I kinda oscillate from extremely low levels motivation and high levels of sluggishness. I’m not a person who pays more attention to formal rules and book learning than they merit. I’m not a book-worm or a pedant either. Boy, I’m bad.

4. Idiosyncrasies:

Definition(s) of idiosyncrasy from http://www.dictionary.com

1) a characteristic, habit, mannerism, or the like, that is peculiar to an individual.

2) the physical constitution peculiar to an individual.

3) a peculiarity of the physical or the mental constitution, esp. susceptibility toward drugs, food, etc.

5. Rules, regulations, graffiti, and unwanted trivia:

Nayak!

Disclaimer: Firstly a disclaimer. Going by the title, this is not some sort of a thing claiming that I’m a movie junkie nor do I claim that I’m one. This is just another blog entry, I decided to post for this month. I reckon, I’ll misspell the movie title in Tamil, so I think this one will do.

It was the 2nd of October, it was a legal day off, and I decided to while away my time simply sitting in front of my computer listening to music or reading something on the internet that will amuse me for the rest of the day. I was unperturbed until I received a larrup from my mom. She flogged me like an animal. Finally, she asked me to get out of the lounge.

Heed the advice of mom, you dunce!

I could hear shouts from the other room. I could not please her in anyway.

All right, whatever! I decided to spend the rest of my evening in front of the television set. Not to mention, I despise watching matinées especially on television, especially with my parents; beside me.

I missed the prologue of the play. Err., it was not a play. It was a movie. A complete movie, in fact a commercial one.

Why didn’t I watch it earlier? What was I doing when it hit the silver screen on the first day? Where on earth was I? I should be kicking myself for brushing aside such an entertainer. Was it because of its mediocrity? Was it because it failed to send a message to the public? Was it because it lacked the main ingredient of the film industry? Or was it because it was just another run-of-the-mill movie?

Nah, none of the above! It was a complete entertainer.

This is how you can praise the movie:

1) Firstly, it was a complete entertainer. A commercial one. Sufficiently valuable to justify the investment of time or interest. A worthy one.

2) Unlike other movies, especially Tamil, this one had a different theme. Throughout the movie one could not find the hero running behind the heroine, singing duets and dancing to the tunes.

3) The music scored by the music director was mind-blowing. Full marks to him.

4) The main subject matter was not love or lust. The hero had other errands to do. The heroine, I doubt did a cameo role.

5) Witticism at its best. The sense of humor was pleasing.

6) It carried out a message. A message to the public. A message to the bloody politicians. A message to every one who runs the government.

7) Lastly an entertainer to the core. A must watch movie. I’ll kick my ass if one says it’s not worthy watching it.

This is how you can criticize the movie:

1) There was a lot of violence involved in the movie. A lot of vehicles being damaged, and burned. A lot of effigies burnt. Too much. For Pete’s sake, at least some of them should have been avoided.

2) The idea of assigning a Chief Minister’s post; one day to a layman, especially a news reporter was something inconceivable. Finally, the day dawns and he’s found, suspending all the government employees for their infidelity.

3) Though the heroine’s job was an easygoing one, she was found lingering here and there with a touch of glamor. Half of the time, showing her cleavage. That was alluring, though.

4) The usage of language was of inferior quality, offensive to the mind. I found it disgusting. I’m sorry if I’m wrong here.

5) It was almost a vendetta. He’s about to commit one, but then the Tamil film industry shows where it stands. He’s innocent of everything he does.

6) Statutory Warnings! A no-alcohol/no-smoking policy was not brought out. We pay heed to all these warnings, don’t we? Eventually, who is to be blamed? Ah, I was in a spot of bother.

7) The camera work was not up to the mark, nor the stunt works performed. It was good otherwise.

P.S.- Firstly excuse my French! Needless to say, the movie got over just hours back. Now I feel, that I’m a chicken on a June bug. I’m on to it in a flash. I’m just an amateur at writing reviews. The movie spurred me a lot. Hit me if I’m a naive. Thanks.